My Boy Its Dagger

I'm officially stressed out as if I wasn't before. But thats ok. I have prom, senior stuff, classes, grades, graduating, growing up, scholarship apps, and boys. My mom checked my grades and my teachers kind of suck at grading things or at least entering scores in the computer. I wish we didn't do online grades because it would be some much easier.

I changed the sheets on my bed and now they're all pretty. I loves it.

I'm tired. I think I'm going to go to bed, I have to type something for my Econ class anyways.

OH! I'm going to see The Zombats on Friday with my bestie Sierra because Michelle is getting her wisdom teef pulled or something. Idk. Be excited! Wish me luck.

I Know I Called Them Demons...

But it really isn't true. They are just enthusiastic thats all. They're always excited to see me which is very nice. :D

I've discovered a new band with the help of my friend Betty. They're called The Fratellis. They rock my lovely socks right off. I don't know what to call them exactly, but they have an awesome sound. I'm sure all my very dearest friends would love them, especially Sasquatch and J-Fizzle. :D I'm sure they'd love them more than their very own wives. Jk homies. Don't get your panties in a twist.

I'm pretty bored and I hate being the only one up up here. The house is always really quiet and the fridge makes its own ice cubes and I always forget that so everytime it dumps them out to make new ones I get freaked out. And the neighbors are noisy. The kids and I watched Nancy Drew tonight and they totally loved the movie and I'll admit that its a nice movie. And Ned is really cute. That helps. I just want to go home and sleep. I always feel like I'm going to be in a babysitting slasher movie. That is just not what you want to have running through your head when you're all alone in a house in a different town. Seriously, I think I'm going to have a coronary. Good thing I have my iPod and cell and the house phone all within reach. The iPod just helps me calm down. The Fratellis are good at that. They get me all jazzed.

I'm going to go now before the people for which I work get home. I don't know that they'd appreciate me being on the computer, though the kids are asleep so I don't know what they'd rather me do, but still, I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Talk to all ya'll cool cats later.

This Is Life As We Know It

Today was fantasterrific! I did the weigh-in for Biggest Loser: Paradise High Style and it went better than I expected. I lost 4 1/2 pounds. That was exciting and I think my team did well overall.

Oh, oh! I got asked to prom, which I already wrote about, but whatever, I'm excited. I have to go dress shopping and figure out who's paying for what and all that. Its all kind of confusing.

My friend Wes bit me a couple of days ago and now I have these two dark mean looking bruises. Its pretty ridiculous. They got worse within the last like 24 hours.

I'm tired. Nightie night.

Prom...

So I got asked to prom today. It was pretty awesome. M &M is really cool and nice and I've known him for a long time. I think we're going to have fun. I hope so anyways. I just wanted to let ya'll know that. :D Ttyl!!!

So I Caved A Little Bit.

But I don't feel badly because of it. I'm actually happy today even though I have a conversation with Betty last night which extended into this morning. He's an odd one, thats for sure. He said that he didn't fine that I didn't talk to him at all for almost two weeks because he thought I'd talk to him when I was ready. And then there was my best friend M who told me that I shouldn't talk to him because he does things to my head and I can't think straight when I talk to him and that I talk to him too much. All of which was understandable and true, according to my interpretation of truth. I really just want to give him a hug that doesn't end. Thats what I've missed the most. I didn't really care about not talking to him or seeing him around school. It was the hugging and I never realized how much we hugged til I tried to make up for it by hugging other people more. Let me just tell you, every 5 minutes I was hugging someone trying to fill a hole that I had in my heart, but I'm thinking its filled now. I don't think I need him anymore. It would be nice to still be his friend, but I don't need him. I've adopted a new hobby as well; I make envelopes out of magazine ads. People say they're good, but I'm not sure. I want to sell them at Johnny Appleseed Days or something like that. I think that'd be neat.

I feel like I didn't really make a lot of sense up in that paragraph. Too late now. I'm sure you'll understand and if you don't you can always ask me questions.

Oh!! I got a new shirt and it is like the cutest thing EVER! Yay.
I had to upgrade my texting plan because I ran out of texts in like the second week of having my phone. It was ridiculous. But thats how I communicate outside of the house 'cept for the occasional obscure phone call that I receive and make.

Gotta go.

The Crying Girl Position for Yoga

So today was pretty ok. I woke up said "laters" to my PAY-rents and watched some MadTV then Joshua called me to ask if I wanted to go to lunch with him and Andrew at Casa de Paradiso. I said yes, even though I wasn't hungry because I like both of them and I wanted/needed to hang out with people and get out of the house. Sooooo...we went there and I saw B.W. (I didn't know he worked there!!) and he was all nice and asked me how my break was going and we did the small talk thing for a minute, which I'm usually rather unsupportive of, but it was B.W. and I loves him so I did some small talk. Then we went to Joshua's house to collect his kid and we scooched over to the park for some swinging/picnic-table sitting and some talking. Then I drove Andrew home, I hate his directions because he took me the "round-about" way which took like 20 mins and I wanted to shoot him, because he volunteered me to. Then I finally got home and called my buddy Dani and told her that we were having a mac'n'cheese and THE LITTLE MERMAID party in a half hour and that she better get her cah-boose over to my house pronto or this girl was going to flip a lumberjack biscuit. She promptly arrived half an hour later and we proceeded to eat the mac and watch the movie and have a good ole time. Then she left and I cleaned my closet like there was no tomorrow and left for bells. There were no bells. Of course not. And its obviously too much for a particular individual to call someone to let them know that there aren't any bells. Sooo I went to the Monday-Thursday church service and it was weird: 1) because it was super short and 2) because they stripped the alter so it was all nekked. It was cool though. Then I did some yoga in Joshua's driveway and leaked a few tears because I'm a lame-o wimpster. And then I came home to make brownies and watch Lost with my mama and daddy. And now I'm doing this and I'm tired so I'm going to bed. And I just wrote this whole thing like I was thinking it. Go me.

Tales of St. Patrick's Day

Last night Meesh, Sierra and I went to Chico to watch drunk people make fools of themselves and to have a good time. We were downtown by the fountain thingy and this guy walks up to us. He's like totally wasted, but really nice and he asked us if he could sit and talk to us to sober up before he had to walk home. He didn't want the bicycle po-po to throw him in jail for not being sober. Although its St. Patrick's day, how realistic are the po-po being by expecting the populous to be sober whilst walking home after a night of drinking? His name was Gilbert. Very nice, very cute...he kept trying to be shirtless and then we'd tell him to put his shirt back on and he'd say how we were such ladies and he'd put it back on just for us to protect our honor or something like that.

I'm not done. I'm just tired.

Melvin/Melmen the Giraffe and Other Significant Things

Sasquatch and J-Fizzle were very nice to me Thursday night and brought me a stuffed giraffe, which I later named Melvin/Melmen, and some daffodils. The flowers were very pretty and the giraffe was just about THE best thing I've received in a while...a long while. It made me so happy. xD

O.O So Lost this week was pretty much amazing. It was the best episode of this season so far. Kind of sad and I want to inquire about a few things, but it was still really good and I wasn't left with the urge to punch something after I watched it from confusion. That was especially nice.

Today was rather nifty, I liked it fine. I went to a pre-retreat for Every Fifteen Minutes which is a drunk driving prevention program. I'm really excited to be a part of it because my grandma and uncle both had problems related to alcohol and my friend's car was hit by a drunk driver while she was in it. It was very traumatic for her and therefore for me because I love her and don't know what I'd do if she wasn't here right now because of that individual. It went rather swimmingly. I feel like we all got to know each other more that we already did and that was nice because its like we're family and its a family effort instead of an independent effort which I think will make it more successful. At first I wasn't sure that I was ok with scaring the bajeezus out of people to make them not want to drink and drive, but now I don't feel as though we're scaring the pooh out of people, we are just trying to raise their awareness of what the consequences can be when you drink and drive. Sure, nothing can happen, but then again, everything can happen and before you know it you're dead or someone, whether you know and love them or not, is dead.

I got to talk with Becca about things and that was nice. I feel a little better and believe you me, the giraffe is helping. For shiz. I think I'm going to go to bed because I feel like I'm short on sleep and brains right now.

An Update Update

So its the 11th of March! I can't believe it. I graduate in like two and a half months. I'm so scared and excited because I really just want to be done with high school, but then I'm scared to leave because its what I know, but I'm SUPA excited for Butte College because the campus is awesome and I know its going to be better. xD

I wrote my research paper on Albert Einstein in the equivilent of two hours tops. I was so proud of myself because it didn't really read like I wrote it in a few short hours. I just hope that I parenthetically documented correctly because I don't want to be marked down for a silly mistake. I got the best Albert Einstein wig on Sat and I can't wait for Wed when I get to go in front of the class and present my character and have a conversation the other characters/people in my group. Its going to be AWESOME because I have Archemedes, Copurnicus, Capt James Cook and Benedict Arnold in my group. Doesn't that sound awesome?!?! I'll tell you how it goes.

I have to get ready to go to school. Talk to you cool cats later.

Send These Bottled Emotions Out To Sea

Ok, I know this is going to sound like I worship the ground he stands on and in a tiny little way I do. J-Fizzle is just about the best thing to happen to me in a year. He was the best yesterday, super nice. I don't like being all emotional, it makes you eat a lot, even when you're not hungry. And believe you me, that Jack in the Box chicken tender stuff was not hitting the spot last night, but I don't want to waste food stuffs, so I ate it. And then because I ate it I was up til like 1 not feeling well while trying to finish some stuff for English. I hate that class with an emotion more than hate. I don't know what word I want to use, but w/e, thats not important. I seriously wouldn't know what to do without J-Fizzle. He's awesome and always there for me and I know he wants the best for me and he just goes agaisnt everything I was raised to believe. He didn't befriend me because he wanted something or because he had to because of his job (I hope) and its amazing how much I trust and respect him. (J-Fizzle, I know I'm sounding like that woman on the phone, but sometimes you just need to hear the truth. You really did change my life.)

I told a person yesterday exactly how I was feeling because I've needed to do that for a few months. And the whole time I was just so scared that I was going to hurt him because that was not my intention, but I wonder if he has anything going on up in that brain of his. Sometimes I think that he must not because of how oblivious he is, but then I think that God wouldn't put a brain in a person if he didn't want the person to use it so then I think that maybe he just doesn't use all of it or he's just stupid when it comes to relationships and girls. All my friends told me that I had to just get over him, but it was love or something (an infatuation or an obsession, I don't know) and I felt like I couldn't. And even right now I'm having withdrawls. The prospects for life in the future is bleak for me. No Betty hugs, no AIM conversations, no hanging out, nothing...but thats the way it has to be so my heart doesn't completely die. It just hurts so much and too many tears have been spilled on account of this subject. I wish my tear ducts didn't work and I had no emotions, being a robot sounds like the best plan so far. Sign me up to replace my heart with a clock or something else thats rational and realistic. Dreams are for silly people and I'm the silliest person in the world.

I'm done with my rant, I'm glad the whole world can read it...yeah, thats just great.

Mental Breakdowns and Other Perils in my Life

Shoot me in the face with a stun gun or one of those laser guns from Star Trek. I'm having so superior issues right now and I don't know what to do about it, though J-Fizzle has been giving me advice. I just wish someone could step in and tell me what the right thing to do is. I don't want to talk about it anymore...I'm done and tired.