Thoughts

I don't know why I even have this blog. No one reads it. What I have to say means nothing, no, I can't say that, b/c when people want me to say things I have nothing to say. I'm just being selfish and thats not fair. I was just sensitive tonight and didn't know what was wrong and I didn't mean to take things personally it. Its just what happened. What you say means a lot to me and I've been trying to distance myself from you for when you lose interest in being my friend, my brother. Idk. My head's all jumbled up. I'm always so sad and I'm scatter-brained.

I don't know.

Cupcake. I like that book.

Hm...so, life right now is ok. Yesterday I'd say it kind of sucked a big one, but today I was genuinely happy. I have tons of school stuff to do and my super good friends are having a disagreement or a "divorce" as I see it. I feel like the kid thats in the middle and doesn't know what to do. I just hope it ends soon. I miss Sasquatch oodles. Life isn't the same without him making ridiculous comments and interrupting me every three words. The month of May is just going to be a horrible...crazy busy, like nothing I've ever experienced, but it'll put metaphorical hair on my chest and I'm probably going to need that for the "real" world.

So this guy that J-Fizzle knows is coming out here in May and I get to meet him. I'm pretty excited. He sounds awesome. Apparently J-Fizzle is going all out with the being a brother thing and has mapped out my marital life. But hey, thanks for caring J-Fizzle. Way to be. I'll have a high five for you later.

I've basically figured out that if you want to know anything about me, just ask me on the internet. For some reason I'm more honest and open on the internet than real life. Go me. :D

I'm tired. I'm going to bed. I'm preparing mentally for a weekend with my pastor, his wife, and my old eng teacher from like 7 grade.

Going Green...With Pandas

Alright. So apart from being so stressed I feel like I'm going bald, I'm pretty good. I'm supposed to be meeting new people during the summer or something, I'm excited for that. I actually can't wait, so I hope it actually happens.

OH! I got new sunglasses and they are amazingly awesome. They're red, BRIGHT red. So cool. w00t!

I'm also going shoe shopping for prom. Don't know how excited I am about that. I'm thinking I want to get really bright shoes because my dress is black. But I don't know how well the hunt is going to be so I might just end up buying some random pair of shoes that I like. Who knows.

So this whole week I went out for brunch everyday. It was pretty crazy. And each time was with a different set of friends. Awesomeness right there.

I've decided I want a Macbook. A white one. Really bad. I'm going to have to save my money a little better to be able to afford it though. I don't think I'm going to really look into buying one til August or thereabouts. Right before school starts.

The prospect of going to college (even if its only Butte) is amazingly wonderful. High school will be done and over with, thank God, and I'll be taking classes that I want and still working towards taking care of my GED. And I'll be moving out soon, hopefully with my friend Michelle because I love her and it will be fun to live with her. She won't mind my messy room and we're just very compatible and we have the same friends for the most part, so it'll just work. We both aren't afraid of meeting new people so we'll probably have parties and such because we're social butterflies. Well, she's more a butterfly, I'm kind of a dragonfly.

My mom is totally stalling on ordering my hamburger phone. I think she's just forgotten and I haven't really reminded her, so its not her fault. Just commenting because I'm excited about it and really want to have it. It'll be awesome in my room, next to my bed on the night stand. *sigh* Its gonna be great!

My life doesn't completely suck like I thought it did yesterday and the day before. I'm not quite so stressed which is very nice. I had a nice sit down chat with my Eng teacher and he was very understanding and he trusted me. We sat down and input all the points he hadn't entered in the computer. That was great so now I have a C- instead of an F! Isn't that like MAGIC. My teacher loves me. That much is for sure. Just thought I'd give you a little update past my love of le Hamburger Phone. :D I loves it mucho! Good night!!

Hamburger Phone!

I found this phone I'm in love with. Its so cool. I'm so excited!!! Be excited for me!!!

Seclusion Delusion.

I now have the Safari web browser thingie. Its awesome! Its like I have a Mac without actually getting a new computer. How cool!? I'm all excited now. :D

Anywho, I had a mini breakdown today in Anatomy concerning grades and the overall stress going on in my life. You might think that I can't have that much stress in my life because I'm still in high school, but you would be so wrong its not even funny. I won't even pretend to laugh. Thank God I have friends and people close to me that I can vent/have a discussion with to get it all out because I cannot be breaking down in class on a regular basis. I've basically gotten my Anatomy grade under control, so thats good. Now I'm working on Photo and English. I'm talking to my english teacher about my grade because there are things that I've turned in that he hasn't put in the computer yet which I've already brought to his attention and which he's done nothing about so maybe I just need to be there, physically in his presence and watch him put it in the computer. I officially hate senior year.

I'm going to bed now. Good night all.

Epic Dress Shopping

I went to the Zombats concert with my friends Sierra, Emma and Heather. It was so not what I was expecting, but thats not exactly a bad thing. The only thing that sucked was the fact that we didn't even get to see the Zombats because they didn't play til after 11 pm and I had to be home at 11:30. Sierra was sad because she's like obsessed or something. Craziness. And it turned out to be a showcase with like a gazillion bands playing instead of just like 3 or 4. Heather, Emma and I met these two guys though and we were talking to them for a while. They were awesome and both in bands. There was a band where all the members were dressed up like the bad guys in Nightmare On Elm Street, with burn prosthetics and everything. Lots of fake blood on their shirts and this big guy who was the drummer who looked like he cut people up for a living. Overall the concert was fun though. I was the only blonde in a sea of dark hair, but one gets used to that after living in the Bay Area where there might have been 100 white kids in their school let alone many blondes.

So after I got home Wes called me to say that Michelle probably would be coming prom dress shopping with me. He called when I was brushing my teeth so he thought I was drunk or something and slurring my speech. I love my friends' faith in me. Steadfast to the end. NOT! Anywho, I went to the Roseville Galleria and the Arden Fair mall in Sac. I'd forgotten about how crazy people are down below with their crazy driving, speeding, unexpected manuevers across 5 lanes of traffic and whatnot. The Roseville stop was strictly for my mama because she had to return something so we did that and then we were off to Sac. The first store we went into was Torrid which is a shop for plus sized girls and I fell in love with two dress, a pair of shorts and a tank top. I tried on everything and both dresses fit me perfectly, the shorts weren't too short or too long and fit great, and the top was FANTASTICO! I chose a black dress with white roses on it that I liked the best and paired it with a black silk shrug. Its beautiful! I also bought the shirt, but not the shorts because they were like $38 and I couldn't handle that after dropping $140 for the dress/shrug combo.

I have a massive pile of clothes in the middle of my room and I'm afraid to dive in. What if I don't come back? I don't like spelunking. Its scary and I don't know whats in there. Oh, well. I have to get ready for church now.

L8rz.

April Fool's!!

So today was Patrick's birthday and I hope he had a good one. I just finished like a million things of homework in the last hour and a half and I still have more to do. Lucky me. NOT!

I'm going to see The Zombats on Friday with my friend Sierra and thats exciting because then the next day I'm going prom dress shopping with Michelle and my mama, which I know I already told you, but I don't care. Its my prom and I'll talk about it all I want. You can choose to ignore it if you like. I saw Mitch today and he was like, "Hi prom buddy!!" It was funny. :D

I'm tired and bored and cold and tired.

I'm going to bed...to my nice colorful clean sheets...to be all snuggly and warm like a bug.

Nightie night.