Cheasure Chrest Full of Jews.

The title is a slip of the tongue that happened to me today at Candace's house regarding one of the early b-day present from her g-'rents. It was pretty much the funniest thing that happened today.

Today was a good day, til I got home half an hour ago.

I picked up Morgan a little late this morning, but thats totally normal so it wasn't a big deal. We rode the bus down and hung out in the library til class started. I went to Sociology in the LRC and took my midterm. It totally wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. There were a few questions that were phrased weirdly and I kind of forgot to study for the essay questions because I'm a wiz at multiple choice ones 'cept if its on the AP English test. I was done like 45 minutes early so I hung out with the girl I sit next to in that class because we're partners for a project and we needed to schedule a time that we could get together to discuss how we're going to go about it and all that jazz.

After a few minutes of arranging schedules and whatnot she headed home to do something and I went to look for Morgan (because I forgot that I got out early) and ran into Shelly and Brian. We talked for like 20 minutes and it was fun! Then Morgan and some other peeps got out of class and we all kind of broke up into little groups going our separate ways. Morgan and I went to the cafeteria to find some friends and we found Michelle and Wes there so we hung out with them until Michelle had to go to class and then it was just Morgan, Wes and I hanging out til our class started because we all have the same class. We went to Anthropology together and watched this film about this tribe in Africa that uses different kinds of oracles to determine what they should do in situations. It was interesting for the most part and I only almost fell asleep like once. After class was over Morgan and I walked to the bus and Wes went to the financial aid office to get some money they owe him for not honoring his CalGrant. 

We rode the bus home and then I dropped Morgan off and went to Candace's house. I took pictures of her dressed in her Where's Waldo? costume for her b-day party and they turned out fabulously. Then we listened to Anberlin's first cd and then their second one and we watched America's Next Top Model. It was poker night too, so all of Starshine's friends were over which is always fun. :D Candace gave me some sick sunglasses from Cabo which I'm super excited about and am going to wear tomorrow because I'm a G like that.

Then she was on Myspace reading things and I kept misreading and mishearing things and she thought they were the funniest things ever and kept posting bulletins with my silly quotes. It was good time. Good times, good times. Good drugs, good drugs. 

I left Candace's house after America's Next Top Model was over and got home around 9:15 pm like I told my mom I would. My mom asked me how my day was and I told her that I thought I got a B on my Soc midterm and she got all annoyed and said that that was ok, if that was the BEST I could do and that since I have so much time to study I should be getting nothing but A's. I didn't think it was fair and then after wounding me a little bit with not trusting me with my own education she brought up my bank account and that she had a right to know how much is in my savings and checking account. It really just pissed me off and made me want to move out right now. But I'm slightly over it now and I'm going to take some time to think about what I want to say to her in the conversation that I know is bound to happen sometime or other. 

I can't think of anything else that happened and I'm really tired and probably not thinking right. 

Peace.

Little Bunny Frou Frou, Hopping Through the Forest.

I'm having a hard time setting aside time to do my readings from the Bible. I don't like being this busy...but today it wasn't even that I was busy. I just had something to do every minute that I wasn't sleeping or eating or going to the bathroom. 

I went to Butte today, but didn't go to class because Candace convinced me that there was no point. So we rode the 1 o'clock bus back to Paradise and then I drove us to Candace's house so she could pick up money and then  went to see High School Musical 3 and I didn't hate it. I actually enjoyed myself for almost the whole time. Then we went back to Candace's house for dinner and we were supposed to watch the season finale of Greek but Candace and I will watch that tomorrow night when all the guys are over to play poker.

I have a midterm in my Sociology class tomorrow and I'm completely ill-prepared. I'm not excited about it at all. I'm just happy it isn't super long and most of its multiple choice, which I kind of rock at. Then there are true/false which aren't super hard and then the hard part is the 4 or 5 short answer questions. But she said that the answers can be like one sentence which makes me think that the questions must be very straight forward unless she thinks that a sentence should be like half a page. Then we will have some problems. I am looking forward to being able to leave early. That is always good. 

I'm really realizing that I have a front row view to see how relationships and breakups work right now. And the picture from here is clear and big...bigger than I thought it would be. Its disturbing and makes me want to never date again. It just doesn't seem worth it to me. And when I see it from afar I can totally see what "they" should have done instead of what "they" actually did...its like "in the moment retrospect." I feel lucky to have that experience.

Ugh, I'm so tired and sick of being some kind of stoopid insomniac. Its ridiculous, I like sleep....I LOVE sleep. Sleep and I are BFFs FOREVER. Clearly sleep is just a catty bee-yotch to me. Anyhoo, I'm going to try and get some catty stoopid BFFs FOREVER kind of rest. I have a midterm to study for anyways.

Peace.

Aiden is a way mature for like a 5 year old.

So I am not gonna lie, I'm the biggest weenie ever. I'm watching The Ring right now with Morgan and I'm super scared. Yes I know that it is 10:48 am and yes I know that it isn't real, but movies that like freak me out. Its just so creepy. I don't know why I like Halloween so much because its like the Mecca of horror movie loving people...one of which I'm not. 

Oh, my ankles are increasing in size rapidly and I'm not loving it. Less food...or less saturated fat doused food, and more vegetables and more walking/running and exercise in general. It needs to happen and if it doesn't I'm worried that I'm going to become a sphere and that would just not be any good.

Ok, its time for me to get ready to face the day like a person. Being a person is almost always a good thing and I think I should go do that now.

Good bye.

Hellboy was cute as a baby.

Morgan and I were in the Taco Bell parking lot where we saw the Taco Wagon truck. Then we saw a man and a lady leaving TB and getting into said truck. Then I came up with rad story about the man being a rapist and drugging the lady and driving her to an undisclosed location to have his way with her. Or something.

Freaking Morgan....she never listens to me.....EVER, EVER! I just went on this whole rant about how it would be cute if Dr. House and Wilson were gay together and she totally was like, "Ask me if I was just listening to you," and I was like, "Effing, Morgan, you never listen to me. YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME every once in a while!" And then I had a little mini meltdown with waving fists and everything.

So Morgan is spending the night tonight and we're watching Hellboy right now.

Mom and Dad are flying to the Bay today.

I'm worried about my mom and dad flying today. It'll be the first time he's ever flown that far by himself and I'm sure he knows what he's doing, I'm just worried about things that can happen that he has no control over. Like storms, wind, electrical failures, etc. I'm really freaking out here...I don't want to think about losing them in a crash, but its a possibility. That scares me more than anything. I guess I'll have to find things to do that will distract me. 

Over and out...

A Freaked Out Heather

Social destruction, my fragile psyche, and other things that are in existence, but aren't necessarily needed or good for the world.

My day started out so well. I woke up early and didn't hate life when it happened, that was definitely a good sign. I even got to Morgan's apartment early and we were like way early for the Butte bus and we saw a bunch of people we knew and I didn't fall up or down the stairs which for me (and Morgan) is a major accomplishment. I didn't fall asleep in Anthropology and actually thought the video that we were watching was kind of interesting. Amazing, I know. And except for being hungry throughout most of the day it was all good. Morgan and I got out of class on time and went got on the bus and Nick, Morgan and I drove to Taco Bell for lunch at like 3 pm. A good time for lunch? Indeed it is. Then Nick left for the high school and Morgan and I went to her house...or I feel like we did, I don't remember exactly. 

Anyhoo...I went to Michelle's house and then we ended up at Morgan's house again and then I had to take Michelle home to help her mom with dinner before her mom had to go to work. She said she'd meet me at Cozy for pie night so I went back over to Morgan's where I ate my weight in chinese food. Then we went to Cozy and hung out there for a while...a long while actually. I totally wasn't feeling all that well, but I thought I could make it through everything. My head was stuffed full of things to think about and my stomach hurt and my back hurt and my eyes hurt and basically my whole body was screaming in anger and pain. While Sam was nursing Tristan I drove Morgan around town because I was in the driving mood, you know just driving without a purpose or direction. We wound up at Joshua's house to have an informal abbey meeting with just the "abbots" in attendance. We were talking about vows and stuff like that.

I think I'm really disappointed that Michelle bailed on my twice. She said that she'd come to pie night, and that in itself isn't that big of a deal, but it just miffed my mood a little bit. And now she isn't spending the night either. This night ended up not being what I wanted it to be, but at least now I have time to read The Message. I really like how its written and the contemporary language is definitely helpful for me. I'm listening to Anberlin to help me calm down so I don't want to cry or sleep in the shower. I'm doing breathing exercises to calm myself and I'm not sure if they're really working. On the way home from dropping Morgan home I felt like I was going to hyperventilate a little bit and burst into tears because thats my first reaction to everything.

I think I'm going to drop all my plans for tomorrow and just hang out in a park on a blanket and read The Message/draw/work on my vows/nap/think/have some needed "me" time. I'm thinking that is best for me. I just need to get away from people and homework and worry and needs and things that require social skills. I need to be one with nature more often and tomorrow is going to be the start of something new in my life that is much needed. 

I'm tired and nauseous and hating currency right now. 

Good night.

Blame Me! Blame Me! Blame Me! I love Anberlin.

I appear to have hit a rough patch in my life. It sucks and it hurts. I hurt mucho. I just learned something about two people that I didn't know and it confuses me because I didn't think it'd happen. I don't know how to feel about it. Its really messing me up.

Also, Morgan its like she was a few weeks ago. She's always tired, which before was normal, but now its ALL the time. She's never rested and almost never genuinely happy. I hate it and I don't know what to say to make it better. I just want her to be ok. 

So yesterday I ran across this table that had information about a study abroad program in Costa Rica. If I would have known about this earlier I would have totally been down. Its $3,800 for a 6 week stay. I would have a minor in Environment Peace Psychology I think....and that'd be awesome. So I'm thinking that if its happening next year that'd be great and I'll start saving now and if it doesn't I'll spend the money on something else that I need. Like my phone bill, food, shelter and all that kind of stuff. I'm trying to be more responsible and get my life together. I can't wait to move to the abbey and start making things happen. I don't know what I want to do, but I do know that I'm supposed to be helping there, it just feels right. And I'd like to just focus on me and my place in life right now, I'll work to keep food on the table, but I don't plan to pursue a serious career of any sort until I'm out of college so I'll work meaningless jobs until then to get experience and get some sort of idea about what exactly I want to do. 

I guess I don't really have anything else to say at the moment. You know I'll be back to write more though.

Baby Tristan and My Life

So I'm blogging again and really I don't know why I stopped. I guess I got busy and just didn't want to bother with it anymore, but now I do. 

I like seeing my life typed out and in plain view. It gives me a different perspective than just in my head. Its way helpful.

OH!! I went to the hospital yesterday to see Sam and Christian and little Tristan. He is the cutest and Sam looked pretty good for just hours after being in labor. :D I wish them the best and I hope I can babysit and hold him a lot because he is just the CUTEST!!!!!! 

Jos

hu

a, Morgan and I went to Sam's room and I held Tristan for like a half hour because Morgan is getting over being sick and Joshua just wasn't feeling i

t I guess and he wasn't sure that he was completely healthy. When I was holding him he started crying so I gave him to one of Sam's friends and she said that he tooted and smiled and that he was just uncomfortable because of that and then he was hungry so it totall

y wasn't because of me like I kind of though it was. Thank goodness. I totally tho

ught he didn't like me anymore because he was quiet and nice for like 25 mins and then he just got all angry. His screams sound unreal...they're so high pitched its nuts. And his eyes are so pretty. Christian and I think that he has Sam's nose and lips, but Sam thinks that he has Christian's nose. I guess we'll give it some time to see which it is. Oh, so with us we brought pumpkin and coconut-cream pies with coffee to have pie night it the room. We really wanted to make them feel included in everything even with just having had a baby. So we brought Pie Night

 to them. I think they liked it. I met some of Sam's family and then some of Christian's family and we were thinking of staying to meet Christian's dad and brother, but decided not to. I'm kind of happy, because I was SUPER tired. 

I'm not gonna lie, going to see Tristan made me really want a boyfriend. Well, it totally stirred my maternal instincts even more than they already are and I know I'm totally not ready for one not to mention I don't have anyone to help with the making of it, but still. A girl can dream...it doesn't mean that I'm going to get pregnant just because I think babies are cute. 

OH!!! Morgan, Rachel, my mama and I are going down to Barnes & Noble to buy books for the Young Adult section of the library. We're going to buy some NEAT books. Ones that people will want to read which is good. I'm going to put clothes on and maybe you know....try to look presentable...maybe even a little cute. 

Later!

I Just About Peed My Pants.

I was sitting on the lawn in front of the library at Butte listening to my iTunes when there was this really super loud BAM!!! I totally jumped and there was this guy walking by who saw me jump and he laughed and said that he did the same thing. It was funny, but seriously, I almost peed my pants. I'm not gonna lie. :D It was really funny though. 

Anyhoo...I'm listening to this song called The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny by Lemon Demon. Its an awesome song. I like it very much and there's a video that goes with it on YouTube. Its pretty funny you should look it up...if you are reading this. Whatever.

My week's been pretty good so far. I saw Mike and it wasn't a bad thing and I didn't have any warm fuzzy feelings other than the kind I have for my other guy friends. That is a SUPER good sign, I'm very excited about that. Down side is that 2 out of the 3 guys I danced with other than Mike smelled. And not in a good way. They smelled like they didn't put deodorant on that morning. It was pretty bad and I had to dance with one of them for like 5 songs which is like 20 minutes. But I dealt with it and I didn't die. Which is nice. I like it when I don't die. 

I went for a run/walk yesterday and it was awesome! I'll admit it was more of a walk than a run, but at least I tried. And I must have done something right because I felt it yesterday morning and like the whole day and I'm still feeling it a little right now. I've decided that I'm going to do that every other day and see where it gets me. I need something thats difficult to focus my energy on right now. To distract myself from boys and the drama that I end up creating around them. Oh, Friday is my last dance class as a beginner dancer. After that I have class on Wednesdays and I'm in the Bronze class. Isn't that exciting?! We aren't having a recital like we thought we were, but its alright. We're going to have a party on Friday during class instead. Like with refreshments and decorations and whatnot. It should be fun. And there's no instruction so its like free dancing. I like that too. Hopefully I'll get to dance a lot and I'm wearing the dress I wore to prom, but I'm bringing jeans with me too just in case the girls decide that they don't want to wear dresses. One can never be too prepared, or I hope not.

I've recently discovered that I like a lot more vegetables than I previously thought. Its way exciting...and I like tofu. Who knew that?! I didn't. My dad doesn't like the fact that I like it, but who cares? A little soy never hurt anyone. And it certainly isn't going to hurt me. He's just mad because he's a meat and potatoes kind of guy who doesn't eat like any veggies at all and he doesn't like it when my mom and I try to get him to eat them with dinner. He's kind of unreasonable when it comes to vegetables. 

I went on a date on Saturday with this guy I met on Facebook. We went to see Eagle Eye together and the movie was good, but I didn't click with the guy. I felt bad because he creeped me out but I didn't want to tell him that he creeped me out so I deleted him from my friends and stopped texting him. I know it wasn't the best approach, but I did end up telling him that I thought it would be better if we didn't talk anymore and I hoped that he had a good week and I knew that he'd find someone. I'm disappointed in myself though for how I handled it. I certainly could have handled it better. He had weird lips...for some reason I remember that. They're really clear in my mind. And I didn't like them. 

I have to go now because the bus is coming and I have to catch it with my friends. Later. :D

My First Anthropology Test

So I took my first test in my Anthro class on Wednesday and I just figured out how I did today. I got an 86% which I'm super proud of because I didn't use my notes even though it was an open note test. My Anthro professor is a nut. Certified nut. Its true, he's kind of short and sort of looks like a gnome, but its all good. He's really funny and laid back. 

I'm so happy the rain has started. I was so excited that it was supposed to rain yesterday that I did a little rain dance or something and then it didn't so I was disappointed. And then it totally rained today and I was totally stoked. :D