I Found a Pretzel

So, today was a good day. I woke up to my mom hugging me because she was going to work and then I went back to sleep because I felt like it and didn't wake up til like 9 or so. Then I got up, had some chicken and rice because I am really not a breakfast person and I'd rather just skip that meal (unless Mark is making banana or chocolate crepes, then I'm in) and go right on to the delicious culinary possibilities of lunch and dinner. 

I got ready and left the house at noon to take cookies to Fridays For Lunch. I dropped them off and sat at a table with Joshua and Israel. Israel totally wasn't like crazy today and we had a two sided conversation which is rare with him. He gave me a flower (gardenia) to put in my hair and it was nice. We were talking about the places he's been and where I come from, how old I am and stuff like that. A normal conversation, it was cool. After FFL I went over to Joshua's house to chillax for a few before I went home to get ready for dance.

Dance was mucho fun today. We reviewed what we'd learned on Monday and added two more dances to the Meringue and Foxtrot: the Rumba and Waltz. Totally fun. I got to dance with my friend TJ quite a bit which was good because he helped me with my stance. And then I got to dance with this guy named Mike. He's super nice and we joke around a lot and I think he's cute. I think he's around the same age as Joshua and the D-man. I told him that I thought he looked like a tree on Monday and he wouldn't let me live it down. He was like, "Oh, well, I'm just a tree." And stuff like that. He's awesome, I really hope he stays in dance. By the end of dance I was all sweaty, but feeling great as well, I really love that class. 

After dance I went home to take a shower and then I went to Holiday to buy spaghetti and shredded cheese for dinner at Joshua's. We had Cincinnati chili over noodles with onions and shredded cheese. It was delicious. Then Patrick showed up for discussion group and the ball got rolling from then on. Tina and her mom Vicki stopped by for a little while and then Patrick went and got this guy named Jimmy and he seems really nice. He's very soft spoken, but totally nice. He's the kind of guy I can never see hurting someone deliberately or being mean. He just strikes me as a genuinely nice and decent guy. Go him. 

To explain the title, I was looking down into Joshua's couch for a moment while Patrick and Jimmy were looking at me and then all of a sudden I looked up and said, "I found a pretzel." They thought it was funny because they were expecting me to say something profound or meaningful and then all I say is something about a pretzel. It was nifty. I'm going to bed now. See ya on the flip side.

Lars and the Real Girl

To my surprise, Lars and the Real Girl, was actually a superb movie. It was serious with comedic undertones while being powerful and moving for me. I really, really, really liked it. I'll have to do some more pondering while I'm finishing up Soul Graffiti. So much to ponder and dream and be excited about. Off to sleep I go, cuz I'm super tired and I need my sleep before I start dance tomorrow. I'm trying to build confidence because I think that will help me with the kids at youth group. I love them and I want to be the best Heather that I can be for them. :D Later!

Chasing Pavements

I've given my last post more thought, but that isn't why I'm blogging it up today. All day I've been thinking about how I've finally surrounded myself with people that love and care about me. People who don't sugar coat things even when I really want them to. Its definitely helping me on my journey through life. Its so relieving to know that people have my back. I also am really thankful for the people who have given me opportunities to experience things and new ways of thinking. I wouldn't be the person I am without those select few.

Alright, was that mushy enough for the present company? I'm sure it was. I just thought I'd share my nice little epiphany with ya'll. 

When it was freak thunder storming earlier today I went outside and parked my keister on my patio and just let myself get lost in the sound of the thunder and the humidity of the air and the overall thunder stormy-ness. It was powerful and it made me think about how powerful God is. That led me to wonder where the human race would be without his love. What if he wasn't a merciful God? What if he wasn't all forgiving and ever-patient. What if he didn't wait for us to get ourselves together and live in his image? I had all these questions surging through my head, some scientific and others theological, and all of a sudden my mind cleared and I had a sense of peace. It was like God was telling me to be at peace right then and not to worry, like he was reassuring me that he had it handled. It was awesome.

I don't know what else to say, but I'll blog later with more thoughts and feelings. I have a party to go to.

The Church Basement Roadshow.

Yesterday afternoon at 4:30 Pastor Rod, Summer, Jess and I set off on a journey to the remote location of El Dorado Hills in search of a book tour gone wild and crazy. We successfully navigated our way to the how of our dreams. The set up was three authors: Tony Jones, Doug Pagitt and  Mark Scandrette and also their 1908 counterparts: Professor Hawthorne, Brother Duke, Preacher Withee conducting a old school revival. The show started out with a musician named Will Derryberry playing a few of his songs. He played this song called "Seven" and it was one of the most meaningful songs I've ever heard. After roughly half an hour the whole shebang began with the 3 revival-ers on stage in character. They are alternating between their 1908 selves and their more present day persons while sharing the story of their transformation into who they are today. All of their stories were awesome and sincere, but only one really stood out. Mark is just very genuine with what he says and impassioned in his speech. He is believable. Jess and I were saying that he could say that there is such thing as flying elephants and we would most likely believe him. Amidst the craziness, I had a realization that I don't think organized religion is going about things in the right manner. I think there should be more group discussion about every issue. More community, more hospitality, more love, more caring, more peace. Alright, let me think a while more about this and I'll continue this thought pattern.

It really just dawned on me how busy I've been in the past week. House/dog/bunny sitting since Tues., Cricket Camp planning for munchkins, doing this to expand my religious outlook and exposure, reading Soul Graffiti, A New Kind of Christian and The Secret Message of Jesus, getting my schedule at Butte all settled, trying harder to take care of myself by going for walks and eating more vegetables (its amazing, I actually like vegetables...who would have thought?!) and a photo shoot for my friend's web site to display her photography because she's going to a photography school in Massachusetts. I've been lacking on the nightly recoop because the dogs i was watching insisted on sleeping the my bed and they twitch and itch and snuggle which doesn't allow for the most recuperative sleep in the world. And I didn't get home til 1 this morning from the Church Basement Roadshow. But it was completely worth it. Jess and I got to catch up on the way down and she convinced me to start dance on Monday. I'm actually pretty excited about it. She's going to be teaching I think and she said that I'd have a lot of fun and it'd bring me closer to the friends I already have that are in dance. I'll keep you updated on that too.

I'm really tired right now, so I'm going to bed. Hopefully I'll get a full night's sleep and I'll have the brain power to finish my thinking on the Roadshow experience and maybe offer some helpful and interesting opinions. One can always dream anyways, now can't they?

Night.

The Charmed One

Ok, so my last post was kind of mopey and silly teenager-with-a-problem-with-the-world kind of vibe. I apologize for that and I feel better today.

Soooooooo, on Wednesday I should be free of this cursed Mowers house. It'll be a good day for me. Also, I think I'll be going to the Eldorado Hills (wherever that is) for a thing. A roadshow of sorts, I think thats even in the title. I'm reading this book called Soul Graffiti and the guy who wrote it, Mark Scandrette, is going to be one of the speakers at the Roadshow thing. Thats so exciting, I mean I've already met him, but he's the most honest and nicest person that I've ever met and it doesn't seem like he has to try. It just like comes to him, like enlightenment. Its crazy.

I can't stop thinking about someone. He's like a really super nice person and he doesn't have to try. He's genuine and sweet and I don't know, still kind of young inside. I don't even know what it is about him. He drives me freaking crazy and its not fair. But whatever, its fine and I'm ok. Next subject.

I've realized that I really don't like television shows. I think they're lame and they focus on everything about society that is not what people should focus on. Money, fame, sex, violence, people building facades of perfection. I don't understand the fascination behind these programs. I mean, I'm not going to say that I don't watch tv, but I watch Food Network and Lost. You know fluff shows. I tell people that I like horror movies, but I really don't. They scare me, well they don't scare me, they just make me sad to see people being hurt for no reason other than because the bad guy wants to kill someone. I don't have a sense of justice like that. My sense of justice is a bad guy going to prison for a length of time and then hopefully having their life changed so they don't want to do bad things any more. I was watching Snatch and every time someone was hurt I was sad. I don't understand why people feel the need to hurt someone to make themselves feel better or more powerful.

Alright. I have to get my life together now so I'll go for now.

I'm tired and watching Kimora Lee Simmons get her "fab" on, its an all time low.

I want to start out first saying that I've had one heck of a week. The fire, power outages, uncertainty of life and house sitting. Its all been so hectic and lame and overwhelming.

Ok, the fire. So stressful, mainly because my house was in an evacuation zone and then I went over to the Mowers' house to continue house sitting and then we got a precautionary evacuation announcement there too and then I was worried about my friends that live in the even lower parts of Paradise. The fire totally jacked up a week of my life, but its fine. I'm just happy that everyone I know and love is ok and not hurt except that lady who died from a heart attack. Poor lady.

The power outages were just annoying, though they did force me to actually sit down and read like I've wanted to for at least a week. I'm happy for that, but it was father's day today and my mom, dad and I were watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and halfway through the power went out. So now we have to watch it again at a later date. It was pretty ridiculous.

I'm just not sure how my life is going to be. I don't know what I'm going to do, or who I'm going to be, or who I'm going to help and I'm really trying to be ok to go with the flow, but sometimes I just can't. Sometimes I just freak out. I do breathing exercises to try and calm down, but it doesn't always help.

House sitting. Don't even get me started on this. So I agreed to house sit for the Mowers' and I didn't really ask what I'd be doing I just knew that I'd have to walk and feed dogs and maybe sleep with them. I should have asked house much I was getting paid, what exactly would be happening and what to do if the dogs pooped on the floor or wouldn't stop barking. I should have done a trial run. That would have been awesome and smart, but no, I didn't do that. I just figured that I'd be fine and the dogs would love me and they wouldn't miss their owners too bad, but I was wrong. Wrong homie. SO WRONG.

Alright, I'm tired because they dogs don't let me sleep a lot and I have to get up really early to turn off the alarm that Liane didn't shut off before she left and I have to let the dogs out to pee at like 6:45 or 7 in the morning every morning.

Night!

From Butte Bliss to Daddy Hell

I took my Butte college assessment test today, well technically yesterday, and it went ok. I had a little confusion as to where the test was being held, but that was easily cleared up. There was also a little fiasco with the fire academy which was just funny. Overall my first experience with Butte college was almost all good in the hood. I'm pretty sure I did well on the English based parts, but 45 questions about Alg 2 just about killed me. I haven't taken it in a year, I got a very low B- in it, but my friend persuaded me into taking that test. I don't even care what math class I get put into, I just want to get this whole math requirement thing done with.

Tonight Michelle had a party and usualy when she has parties I sleepover. But tonight I didn't feel like sleeping over so I decided to stay a little later than I originally thought which is what my mom and I agreed on. ...I'll tell the rest of this later. I'm seriously wigging out right now.

Ghost Hunters

So last night was this month's council meeting and some members of the council were asking how the changes we're making to the church (i.e. changing into an abbey-type thing) are going to help the church "grow". I really don't think that should be our concern. They meant help the congregation grow as in attendance. I don't think that is the important thing because you can make all the conditions exactly right for a plant and it will still grow just how it wants to grow. Or it won't grow. You really can't change the nature of a plant. 

I'm doing a program for young children during the summer called Cricket Camp. I'm really excited about it. Lynda is going to be helping me and I think its going to be a lot of fun. I'm going to try and have some of my friends help me because it'll be fun.

My Butte college assessment test is tomorrow. Then I can finally sign up for classes. Which I was supposed to be able to do last month, but I had an AP test the day of the last assessment test and tomorrow is the soonest test date. So we'll see how that goes.

Speaking to the Congregation

I totally gave a speech in church yesterday. You see the church was presenting  $500 scholarships for college to 3 graduates: Chris, Jack and myself. Each of the graduates did part of the service which included dividing the readings and the gospel between us and giving the "message" and the dismissal. None of that was as nerve racking to actually do as it was to fret about in the minutes before it had to happen. So I stood in front of the congregation and thanked them for supporting me and being there to watch me grow up and for giving me a chance to really help out the church with nursery and being on the church council. I told them that I particularly enjoyed being on the council because no one really listens to us youngens and now they were. You know, asking lots of questions about my "tribe" and trying to understand my generation a little more thoroughly. I think that is going to be a super important part of the change the church is going to go through to stay alive.

After the first service was over Mia, the coordinator of the service, took us to BK for breakfast/lunch. Then we came back for round two. I think that went a little smoother, though we were still nervous as ever. But speeches were made and the service ended and then it was off to the Fellowship Hall for cake and conversation and little presents and cards that the whole congregation signed. It was awesome. Oh! My pastor and his wife gave me a card and they made me open it at home. I think they made me open it at home because it said "ass" in it. It was purely funny though. Everyone kept telling me how proud they were of me and it was super nice. There was a lady that I'd never seen before and she stood in front of me for a full three minutes telling me how proud she was of me and we ended up discussing my future educational plans. It was pretty awesome.

After that I went to a graduation party for my friend Morgan and I was the only person there that wasn't family. I felt pretty special. I left her party a little early to go to the church for a parent's meeting that J-Fizzle told me about and wanted me to go to. So I showed up and there were three parents. They discussed stuff and and I interjected where I thought necessary. I stayed at J-Fizzle's for dinner (what else is new?) and it was tasty. we had grilled lamb with mint jelly, corn, baked potatoes and homemade garlic bread. So delicious. I don't know what it is about J-Fizzle's cooking, but he can make me eat stuff that I totally don't usually like. Like most vegetables and the occasional meat that I'm not used to or have never had properly prepared. Anywho, go him! Then I went home and read some more of Soul Graffiti by Mark Scandrette. I'm telling you, that book is awesome. Totally cool. I like how he writes and I even like having to write down words that I don't know the meaning of so I can look them up at a later date. There is no point in ready a book if you don't understand the words that the author uses because you could interpret something in a completely different way based on what you think the words mean.

Today was my Senior breakfast. I was up at 5:45 this morning because I thought that it started at 6:30 am but my friend texted me to say that it didn't start til 8. I was a little annoyed to say the least. Anywho, it was great. Jut one last time to see the people that I know I probably won't see again. And one more time to plan things for the summer with people that probably won't happen because we'll end up being busy and we'll forget. But the thought is what counts, right? Thats what everyone has told me since I was in kindergarten, so for once in my life I'm going to believe them. 

Later.